After the events of this past month, with another horrific school shooting, I haven’t known what exactly to write. We once again mourn the senseless deaths of children, and debate how to counter possible future attacks.

What has been scary about several of these school shooters, is that those closest to them have not seen what was coming. The parents or caretakers have seemed clueless.

I believe it is very important that we know what our kids are thinking and feeling starting at a young age. Our kids can reveal issues going on inside of them, as well as issues of concern around them.

I was struck by a post on Facebook this past week that I shared on my personal Facebook page. I am copying that post below from

50 Questions to Ask Your Kids After School instead of “How Was Your Day?”

Below are a few of those questions:

  • What made you smile today?
  • Can you tell me an example of kindness you saw/showed?
  • What did you do that was creative?
  • Who did you sit with at lunch?
  • Was anyone in your class gone today?
  • Tell me something you know today that you didn’t know yesterday.
  • Did you like your lunch?
  • What was the hardest rule to follow today?
  • If you could change one thing about your day, what would it be?
  • What made your teacher smile? What made her frown?
  • If you could switch seats with anyone in class, who would it be? And why?
  • What kind of person were you today?

These are not “magic questions,” but you get the gist. They go deeper than “How was your day?” to which you might just get, “Fine.”

If this was a habit we kept up as our kids grew up, we would continue to know more about what was going on inside of them and the world around them. It may not be as easy with teenagers, but it is worth the effort! With teens especially, it is important to ask out of love, not from condemnation.

God bless and comfort those who so wish they still could ask questions of the children they have lost.

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